Community Companion visits bring smiles, conversation and companionship

Sixty-six-year-old Tony had become increasingly lonely since a degenerative lung disease kept him in isolation away from family and friends.

But now, weekly visits from his Community Companion, Helen, are helping bring smiles and laughter back into his life. And it’s all thanks to an initiative from St Barnabas House Hospice, Worthing.

‘Since losing my partner two years ago, I’ve become very lonely. I haven’t told everyone that I’m ill, but I have told my family and a few friends who are close and who are important to me.

For a lot of people it makes them feel really awkward. Even the ones who say they are okay with me telling them, you can still see them shying away. Death happens to us all in the end, it’s a normal part of life.

In 2008 I was diagnosed with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). It came on very suddenly. I was coughing a lot and I found I was getting more and more puffed out when I was at work. We’re now 16 years down the line.

At Christmas just gone, I was cooking my single Christmas dinner with all the trimmings, as I have always loved home cooking, but I was finding that I couldn’t get a proper breath.

In the early hours of Boxing Day I called an ambulance. I had contracted flu and it had destroyed a lot of what was left of my lungs, that’s when the doctor called me in and said it was basically ‘game over’.

I was prepared for this prognosis — but now I can’t do anything without getting puffed out.

The nature of my illness means I’ve had to try and keep away from people where possible in case I catch something. Family and friends all know not to come and see me even if they’ve got something as simple as the common cold.

Community Companions are volunteers who provide befriending and companionship to patients at home who may be struggling with loneliness and isolation.

‘When I was first offered the services of a Community Companion by St Barnabas House Hospice, I was very sceptical about the whole idea. Inviting a total stranger into my home to talk felt like a non-starter.

I am so, so glad that I agreed. We have been meeting now for the past twelve weeks and I really look forward to her visits.

Helen, who comes every Tuesday, is fantastic. We get on so well together. We’ve been talking about gardening which we are both into, even though I can’t do any now.

We’ve got quite a lot in common, and I’ve started to really look forward to her coming round.

We clicked immediately, we share pretty much the same sense of humour and thoughts on the world. Almost anything and everything.

Since taking an early retirement in 2020, Helen has become heavily involved in volunteering for St Barnabas House.

‘I have done all sorts of volunteering for St Barnabas over the years — I really enjoy it. I’ve been volunteering with the Community Companions for just over two years.’

For Helen, her tie to the hospice is so much more than volunteering, ‘I lost my Dad coming up for five years ago. He was in St Barnabas House for a week.

And one thing that always sticks out in my mind is that when I was visiting Dad, there was a patient a couple of doors down, and they never had any visitors in there. And we spent a lot of time with Dad during the day.

It made me very sad. They probably did have visitors when we weren’t there but this person just seemed to be on their own all the time.

We were very lucky with Dad because my sister and I cared for him 24/7 in the last few months and we spent a lot of time with him — we are a close family.

When someone starts talking about dying, it doesn’t shock me, and I think that helps. Tony told me that it helps that he can be open and honest with me and I won’t be shocked by what he is talking about.

I think when you lose someone close to you it can break down that barrier.’