Ben’s story

Coming to the hospice

Ben and I were together for eight years and married for three. We didn’t have as long as we had hoped to have together, but it was eight lovely and magical years. In July 2016, aged 39, Ben was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer. He died only three weeks later.

We spent most of those three weeks in St Barnabas House hospice, and I don’t know how we would have got through that horrendous time without them. The Care Team at St Barnabas House are amazing, I’d even describe them as angels. We were at the hospice for the worst possible reason, but we still smiled and chuckled every single day because of them. They made every day easier and enabled us to have three special weeks together.

Dealing with grief

After Ben passed away, I used the hospice’s amazing bereavement service, it was so valuable to me. I have also attended some bereavement services and found it useful to be in a room with people going through a similar situation, to have the opportunity to chat, share stories, and listen to how others are tackling and coping with their grief. That’s the incredible thing about St Barnabas, the care doesn’t stop after your loved one passes away.

Ben had such a positive outlook on life, and he was adamant that he wanted to give back to St Barnabas House. In his final few days, he set me a challenge, a mission, to fundraise for them to help keep their services going. I hate the thought of St Barnabas not being there for people like us in the future, so I do all I can to raise vital funds.

Looking to the future

Shortly after Ben passed away, I signed up for a 67km trek in India through the foothills of the Himalayas. It was five days of walking and camping at night – for those that know me, this was a real challenge! We, as a family, have done all sorts since then, including a raffle that raised over £13,000, in addition to the £13,000 on my JustGiving page.