Patient stories

Nigel’s story

Published on: 27/01/2025

Nigel was a larger-than-life character – a music-loving biker from Littlehampton. He’d suffered from a bad cough for years, but it was a shock when he went for a routine optician’s appointment and ended up being diagnosed with a brain tumour and lung cancer. After deteriorating quickly, he came to St Barnabas House to spend his final days. Here, Nigel’s daughter, Taryn, shares their story...

“My dad, Nigel, was a character, with a real love for life. He certainly made the most of his time here on Earth.   

His great passion was motorbikes, and he travelled all over the country going to different shows. He even built his own custom motorbikes and won awards – he was always so proud of his motorbike achievements.  

Dad and I shared a love of music. I was brought up listening to old school rock, and there are so many songs that will forever remind me of him. 

Dad also loved rugby and my brother, Daegan, played from the age of three or four.  He did very well, and Dad was proud of his rugby career – he took Daegan to rugby every single weekend and I was inevitably dragged along for the ride! I didn’t mind the away games so much – there might have been a long car journey but there was always good music playing in the car on the way.  

The road to St Barnabas House

It’s hard to pinpoint when his health struggles began, because Dad had a bad cough for as long as I can remember. He went to the doctors about it, but it was always attributed to his smoking, and he wasn’t going to stop, so investigations didn’t go any further.   

Then in 2023 he got into a car accident because he didn’t see another vehicle coming, so he went to the optician. His vision had become blurred, so he thought he might need glasses. The optician referred him to hospital and that’s when we found out that he had a brain tumour. 

Dad’s condition deteriorated quickly, and he wasn’t getting the care he needed in hospital. St Barnabas was mentioned to us as an option but initially the clinical staff weren’t sure if he was fit enough to travel. They asked if we were willing to risk him passing away on the journey, and we were confident that’s what he would want if he understood the situation.  

Comfort beyond pain relief

Dad had always been adamant he didn’t want to be on morphine, but at the hospital we didn’t feel we really had a choice. But when we got to St Barnabas, the nurses were so open to whatever he wanted. We asked if we could try him without it, as he’d wanted, and we saw such an improvement in him. He was so much more alert, he was trying to speak, and he knew we were there. I’m so grateful that we got that time while he was in St Barnabas, because we sort of got him back for a little while.

It was a relief to know that the people caring for Dad specialise in the end of life. I think that makes the world of difference. They are there because they care. Nothing was ever too much trouble for them. I wanted to stay at the hospice with Dad for as long as he was there, which ended up being a few weeks, and I was always made to feel very welcome.

Taking each day as it comes

I’m so grateful to the nurses, healthcare assistants and doctors at St Barnabas, because they really did make a horrendous situation that little bit better. What I learned from our experience was to take every day as it comes, and that’s the advice I would give to other families facing the same thing.  Sometimes in these situations, there are no definite answers, and you have to learn to be at peace with that. I’m a very factual person. My brain is quite black and white, so I struggled without answers to questions such as how much time he had left and how long he’d been ill for.

I learnt that worrying about the ‘what ifs’ is of no value and time is precious, regardless of how long you’ve got. You just have to let go of trying to find the answers and be there in the moment.

Fundraising in Nigel's name

Taryn's brother, Daegan, decided to take on the challenge of a lifetime in honour of his dad, and raise money for the hospice that helped the entire family at end-of-life.

“When Dad entered the hospice’s care, we just felt instant gratitude, like a weight had been lifted. I thought I need to give something back and I’m not good at very much, so it was running or nothing really."

Read Daegan's fundraising story